Its a feeling unlike any other when you set your eyes on a newborn baby that you and your partner created. The scent of the baby brings out the instinct of parenting. This is a feeling like no other experienced.
The sounds of her voice and even her cry was like music to my ears. I adored her and loved her with all my heart and promised myself to always take care of her never let any harm come to her. The first time I held my daughter in my arms knowing that she is mine, was the best feeling in the world. All that I feared before she arrived all disappeared in a moment.
I’m a dad and these are just my experiences and feelings. Other dads might see things differently or have different thoughts and feelings.
As the days and months went by the stress began to build up and her constant nagging and cries became unbearable. Her cries became a constant ringing in my ear and built up an uncontrollable frustration within me. I couldn’t hold back any longer and let lose that frustration. Moments later when I felt calm, I soon realized that I had made a mistake. I should have controlled my frustration and anger. Letting out the frustration didn’t help me at all but made me feel worse inside. The feeling of regret weighed me down and tore me apart day after day. I decided then and there that this feeling of regret is a real torture to me and I never want to feel this way again and promised myself to never let it happen again.
I couldn’t understand why I was behaving this way. Perhaps it was the pressures of being a dad for the first time which was taking its toll on me unable to come up with a solution quick enough to deal with her crying or that I wasn’t fully prepared for having that responsibility yet. I decided that it was time for a change and I need to be more caring and careful about the way I handle situations and take more control of my frustrations and emotions.
What does it actually take to be a good parent? Is there such a thing as a perfect parent? These are the questions I often asked myself and this really got me thinking and trying to figure it out. I really love my child and how could I have behaved that way towards her. I needed to find the proper way to deal with a crying and nagging child as a parent. Trying to teach me the proper way of parenting. I often questioned myself about everything I did thereafter. Am I doing things right or wrong?
Five years later, and I am now a father of two girls. I was quite young when we had our first daughter. I can say, I was really happy to become a dad for the first time, but, as I prepared for it. Holding my second daughter for the first time brought back memories of holding my first child. The feelings and emotions were similar if not deeper. Feeling more confident and equipped with some experience, I knew that this time things were going to be different. The feelings and emotions of a new parent are like no other feelings experienced. Their smiles just melt your heart and tears of joy drown your eyes in moments of joy. You know your life would never be the same. All your dreams and plans for the future will now have to include your children.
Bringing up a child is no easy task and I have learned by experience that patience and understanding are the two most important things. When you are a young parent and still learning about life, it sometimes becomes too much to handle and the pressure builds up whilst trying to juggle life, a career, and a child. I realized that I just need to take a step back and asses the situation before I decide to take action. It takes determination, caring and love to support a family at a young age. I’m not sure if you would agree but this is my opinion.
Parenting is a learning curve. We are never really taught to be parents. It’s a natural instinct for a mother to love and care for her child. It’s a biological thing. But dad’s tend to suffer a bit trying to get the hang of it without getting frustrated. Now I know why most dad just leaves it all to the moms. It’s much less stressful that way but the funny thing is that it’s always us dad’s that are responsible for the disciplining making us the bad ones. So we need to work a little bit harder to be the best dad in their eyes whilst mom is always best.
One thing I’ve noticed is a child will always disagree with you on everything. They always think that they are doing things right. This is where the job of a father really gets tough. We have to guide and show them the differences between right and wrong at a level they can easily understand. At the same time, we must also teach them to be good, affectionate and caring individuals. I believe how and what you teach them will determine the type of person they will grow up to become. Kids will often surprise you by what they say and do. They will often copy the things you do and say. This often brings smiles to our faces even on a bad day. They have enough energy in them to drive you crazy and instead of getting upset. We can just pull out the video recorder.
Being one step ahead of our kids and having the answers ready to their questions will make life as a parent simpler, better and more joyous. If being the perfect parent is your ultimate goal. Then, stop and think. Is there such a thing as a perfect parent? How can you be a perfect parent when there are no perfect people? Spoiling them with toys won’t automatically make you the worlds best dad. Is it possible to understand the nature and personality of a spoilt child? If they grow up too used to the habit of getting what they want in their childhood, then they will expect that in their adulthood and will become vicious and hurtful people just to get what they want. We as parents will never want to see that happen. We always want the best for our children and we can be proud when they reflect the things we taught them in their childhood as adults. “like DAD always says”